2016. Life never seems to slow down. They say it just gets faster as you get older, and I think I have found that to be true. This summer will be five years since I was saved and entirely sanctified. Also, at the end of July, it will be five years since I received my call to be a missionary. Over these past several years, God has used the stories of several missionaries to challenge my way of life and my outlook on the future.
One of the books standing out in my memory is Evidence Not Seen by Darlene Diebler Rose. The story of this young woman's days as a missionary in the Pacific during the darkest days of WWII (and prior) transformed my spiritual life. The strength and courage that God gave her in the midst of weakness and fear once again shone forth like it had with other stories, but their was something unique that I needed for my life in that book. While in solitary confinement in the Japanese "Gestapo's" prison, she was on her knees praying with the presence of the Holy Spirit all around her when suddenly it seemed like He disappeared, like He withdrew Himself from the room and her. Searching her heart frantically, she sought for any hidden sin that might have cause Him to leave her. But she found none, and realized that she didn't need the tangible presence of the Lord to know that He was with her. In every Christian's life we go through those "dry seasons." Where is God? Has He left us? What did I do? I must have sinned. And yet, many times in 2015 I remembered in the times where it felt like my prayers only went as far as the ceiling that He is "with [me] always, even unto the end of the age."
Currently, I am reading God's Smuggler. Many people know at least the stories of Brother Andrew and his work behind the Iron Curtain, and now the Middle East. I have heard many of the stories from other students at Penn View, and decided I wanted to get the book and read it myself. Once again, I realize how much God uses the experiences of these missionary 'greats' to challenge me. Brother Andrew sold himself out to God, consecrating everything to Him, and the Lord used Him in incredible ways! Faith and total reliance on Christ should be the ONLY way Christians live, and yet... are we?
I want to be used of God. I want to know Jesus more personally. He brought me out of so much, the absolute least I can do is offer my body as a living sacrifice. I want to be a Brother Andrew and I want to be a Darlene Rose. I want to be a servant, humble and meek. I want to lift up those who are weak. I want to tell the whole world about Jesus, what He has done for me and what He can do for them. So, am I willing to make the sacrifice? Am I willing to fully follow Him, laying aside every weight (maybe nothing wrong or bad, but things that might be hindering me from pursing completely) and running the race that is before me? Yeah, I am. To God be the glory!
